The Importance Of Friendship
By Kerry Graylor
Friendship is a vital part of our social contact. It provides a relaxed and continuing form of interaction that is much less pressured than the relationship we may have with our life partner. It may not be so close but it can be very rewarding.
Friendship has many levels. We may have some very close friends who know all the details of our emotional lives, and others who are friends on a more superficial level, but where there is a comfortable feeling on both sides. One common denominator of most friendships is that however long it is since you saw the person, you can usually just pick up on the relationship exactly where it was.
Making new friends takes some time. It may be something that happens spontaneously or it may require some effort, but it is important not to project the impression that you are desperate to make friends. Instead, concentrate on how you can be supportive and listen to or help another person.
The relationship will deepen when both people feel comfortable enough to confide personal information at some level. It is important to keep that information confidential. This will increase the trust that your friends have in you and improve the relationship.
Do not forget also to nurture old friendships. They can often be neglected in our busy lives, especially when an old friend lives a long distance away. Pick up the phone or send a quick card or email to let your friend know you are still thinking of them.
If you feel that you have been neglecting your friends lately, and you are too busy to organize to see them one to one, then invite them along to something that you are already doing. If you have a party in your diary you could call the host and ask if it is okay if you bring a couple of friends. If not, just invite them along for a family dinner or a church picnic. They will be glad of the invitation and even with a lot of other people around this will help to maintain and cement your friendship.
Sometimes, you are going to have conflicts with your friends. Try to be honest about how you feel and work on resolving any fights that happen. Keep communication lines open and if talking directly is difficult, just send a card. The other person probably wants to resolve the problem as much as you do.
Now and then you may decide that you want to end a friendship. This can happen if the person is bringing you down or taking advantage of you. You may have gotten into the relationship at a time when you were very vulnerable, and when you get stronger you need to end this kind of deal.
The best kind of friend is one who accepts all the changes that you go through, and does not need you to be a certain way. Concentrate on keeping that kind of friendship, and let the others go when you are ready.
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