Marriage Advice for Empty Nesters
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I'd like to give you some marriage advice if you're facing the empty nest stage of life and assuming that you love each other.
I remember when our youngest child, of four children, got married and moved out. She was the most bubbly and loud of all the kids and it seemed that life in our home would be like loving in a morgue, without her there always laughing and telling some kind of story about what had happened to her that day.
This was it, it was just down to my wife of 31 years and myself. We would have to learn how to cope with living in a home that had been teeming with activity, and now, just one other person to relate to...her. (or, me)
I know for some people, marriage advice must come from a professional counselor to be heeded, so this is just my opinion, based upon our experience of life at this stage and you are welcome to proceed on your way without giving it any merit whatsoever.
The fist couple of days were the worst. I think it is some kind of grief you go through knowing that your kids are all grown and gone. It's so quiet, you almost wish for those days, immediately preceding, when you were wringing your hands because they were out past their curfew and you didn't know if something awful had happened to them.
After two weeks had passed, one evening I looked at my wife, who was peacefully sewing on her latest craft project and remarked "it's actually pretty darned nice isn't it"? Without even asking what I was talking about, she just smiled and nodded.
Think about some of the advantages. You can leave home for extended periods without worrying about who's going to watch the kids. You don't have to lock the bedroom door during certain marital activities and you sleep like you haven't in years knowing that you don't have the control (and the responsibility) of what your kids are doing. Your auto insurance rates will drop, even without Geico. Your imagination can start to run wild.
My best marital advice for you as an empty nester, or one coming up on this time of life, is to think about all the positives involved.
You can turn all the extra money that used to be spent on school clothes, entertainment, etc. into a nice dating or vacation fund for you and your spouse. You can return to the lifestyle you had when you first got married, that short space after the wedding and before the kids. Think on that one for a while.
Get to know each other again in creative ways. Buy her flowers and take her out to dinner and a movie like you did before you got married. Meet him at the door in a robe and "flash" him as he closes it. Life can be great and you can have a ball. Who knows, maybe someday you'll write your own marriage advice or love advice column.
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