Divorce Strategies -- How To Come Through Smiling
By Kerry Graylor
As soon as you decide or discover that your marriage is coming to an end, you need to be thinking about your divorce strategies. If the break-up is a big surprise to you and you are very unhappy about it, this may be difficult as you will be trying to hang on to the marriage and stop the divorce happening at all. But even in this situation, you should be thinking about what you can do to protect your well-being and your finances.
Make sure that however you feel, you always act reasonably. If you do anything violent or aggressive towards your spouse or his/her new partner if there is one, you can be sure this will count against you in court. Any vindictive actions that you take now may also be used by your spouse to alienate you from your children and your friends.
Try to stay calm and get along with your spouse as well as you can. Sometimes it is better not to see your spouse, but to handle everything by phone, email or through attorneys. If you are using email, be very careful not to send any messages when you are angry. It is best to forward any provocative emails to your attorney for advice on how to reply.
Do not constantly complain about your spouse to your friends or expect them to take your side. If you have been married a long time, most of your friends probably know you as a couple and it will be hard for them to have to lose either one of you. Your best chance of keeping your friends is not to discuss the details of the divorce too much.
Try to protect your own personal property that you had before the marriage or that you have purchased during the marriage. In some cases this may mean moving papers or possessions out of the marital home so that your spouse cannot claim them or destroy them. You may have to present them in court and if the court awards any part of them to your spouse of course you will have to hand them over. But until that happens it is best to store all of your valuables safely.
It may be too late this time, but if you decide to get married again, consider having a premarital agreement so that you keep any property that you took into the marriage. This is even more important when we are older and have accumulated real estate and other valuable property that we would not want to lose if our new marriage turned out to be short-lived. It is best not to rush into another marriage, but spend a good long time getting to know your new partner. You do not want to have to be practicing your divorce strategies again this time next year!
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