Are Family Relationships Worth the Trouble?
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All right, men, have you experienced that, often times, relationships with your family members really stink and, maybe even, had thoughts that they're just not worth it. When I say "family relationships", I'm not talking about genealogy, I'm talking about the way you relate to your family members...your kids in particular.
You've got this "jerk" dating your daughter and even though he's not really all that bad, you're going to show him who's boss. He'll have to tow the line if he even hopes to see your daughter at all. You go out of your way to find reasons to ground her or to keep him jumping through hoops. You make remarks about his hair, his clothing and his car. It's all kind of fun, really isn't it?
Then she drops the bomb, they're getting married.
You've now got one heck of a job trying to have any kind of relationship with your daughter because your new son in law is going to remember all the things you did to him and multiply them right back at you. Maybe you should start now, trying to build some relationship with the two of them. Soon, it will probably be three or more of them and at this stage of life, your most rewarding moments are gong to be with your kids and grandkids.
It's uncanny how all that stuff, that seemed to important to you, fades away with your first glimpse of a new grandchild.
So, even though you don't like the green hair and baggy pants, try to think back to what it was like when you wore blue jeans, a t-shirt and sported a crew cut. I remember that being as distasteful to the adults of my day as the stuff kids wear today is to us...and we couldn't understand why they were so unreasonable about it.
If you want to build those family relationships into something that you'll treasure, try to look past the outer man and start to ask yourself "who is this guy and how could I help him with his lot in life?" Do you remember some of he people, in your life, who actually paid a little attention to you when you were young and treated you with the respect that you deserved as a human being?
It might have been a teacher, a friends parent or another family member such as and aunt or uncle. Those are the people who stand out in your mind as having shaped you a bit for the better, aren't they? Why not try treating your son in law like that...before he's your son in law?
Who knows, you might find a real human being under all that hair and even begin to like the guy.
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